Journaling differently

So, here I am...journaling publicly...strange situation...I've written hundreds of note-books over the years, and destroyed most of them regularly...that was part of the therapy...but even if the paper is burnt, some things are still painful...so let's try something else...
It all started with Sisabeille working on shapes with her French friends...the triangle, the knife, the scissors, the scalpel...i was in my room, turning this into my head...i couldn't sleep...i felt i had to do something...and it came...this "art-journal"...didn't fancy the word though...
In my favorite on-line dictionary I read this:

ART
Etymology:
Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin art-, ars — Date: 13th century
1: skill acquired by experience, study, or observation
2 : a branch of learning:
3: an occupation requiring knowledge or skill
4 a: the conscious use of skill and creative imagination especially in the production of aesthetic objects; b:also : works so produced

That was comforting...I could now say : I'm building, making my artist-journal , art-journal or ...
I wanted to find a "thread"...not difficult...the idea of the puzzle has been in my mind for years...
The first pages are what they are...a beginning...sure I will find other versions later...
The very interesting thing is this: when you are used to journaling with your pen, your copy-book, you are used to write, work very quickly...words are flowing, often very painfully , but if it's not well written, i mean in correct words and with a beautiful hand-writing it's not important...evacuating is the priority...
Painting, drawing, in a psychiatric hospital bedroom is also very different...you just "vomit" colours and lines...not to suffocate...at least that's how i fell...
But here it was a quite different thing: express yourself with pictures in public...there was the idea of communication...communicating with other people...making yourself understood...or trying to...it's neither easier nor more difficult...just very deeply different...
So here I am now...quite new and 61 years young...with plenty free time and my small but sufficient pension...the best situation...
lucky me !!!
I gave myself a new name, some time ago, thanks to some great"Wild women "...I left the group, but go on with the "work" ...I had to start doing it French...I had to stop hiding behind English language, using the excuse: I can't do it, I don't have the words...In French I have no excuse...
For a few weeks I didn't work much on my English blogs , I couldn't find the words...I thought I couldn't be English AND French ...but now all is well, I realized my native language is French, and my second chosen one is English...I allowed myself not to chose...
Claudine could become Peaceful, Paisible...